In a recent conversation with a young woman, that I value and highly respect, a question came up that brought much discussion. The discussion was in regard to difficulties within relationships that can bring an element of turmoil. The question became simply, “How do you pray?” Do you pray that God would deliver this other person, changing in them all that needs correction in your eyes, or do you ask God to change you?
I think this question brings wonderful perspective. When we ask God to change us, it is a work that reaches from beyond a particular difficulty with an individual. It changes us from the inside out, thereby giving us much more grace for whoever we encounter. These encounters may be with people that we know, or brief encounters with people we probably will never meet again. The important point is that when we think that the other person needs to be changed we are operating out of judgement, and this is never good. Truthfully, we can all do with a little changing, but that is a work we can safely leave with the Lord.
Psalm 139:23-24 NKJV Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.