Quite simply I need to be done! I know it becomes a joke for us all, but I believe I have reached my jumping off point. With all respect to our awesome handbags, our mini suitcases that we have deemed necessary to complete our journey, whether to the store across the street, or down the road, I am evaluating what I am doing. I am so guilty of lugging a huge bag, full to the brim with all that I want with me, that when someone goes to move it they cannot do so without a grimace. I seem to believe I need these things every day.
Here is a good example of one thing in my bag that has purpose, but not always. There may not be a rain cloud in sight, but living in the UK as our family did for some years, tells me that I should never be without an umbrella. I certainly know that it has saved me from many a drenching, but must I carry it so faithfully? Perhaps it would be wise to check the days forecast and leave it in the car when I am certain of a dry day. For even if I were to get a little wet, is it a deal breaker? I agree, not likely!
This has been building within me, and finally last week I reached, what people in the music industry may call crescendo. It is that steady increase in force and intensity that pushed me to my limit. If I look at the evidence of what I experienced, I can see that this culmination of carrying, and feeling responsible for too much, has caused me to take note.
When I am struck by my behavior and habits, that typically do not bother me, to this sudden need to be free from excess baggage, I know there is something, or Someone, driving me to see a greater significance. As a result of this knowing, which I have observed on previous occasions, I prepare myself for a message. To be blunt, I listen more intently and do not just carry on.
My conclusion is that I have been carrying too much. That it has begun to make we weary, and that I have not unpacked my bag in quite a long time, hence both bag and I are showing signs of wear. If I look with fresh eyes on the things I thought I could not be without, I will find that by letting them go, I will experience more freedom to move unhindered. There can be no guilt or blame involved with this, purely a letting go, as I walk without the heaviness of last seasons trappings.
In short, I want more freedom than I had yesterday, trusting that the Holy Spiirt will guide and carry me, joyfully self-confident that He and I will be more than enough.
Psalm 68:19 NLT Praise the Lord; God our Savior! For each day He carries us in His arms.